It's Just A Number.

i haven't been me.
i'm feeling lost.
i'm not my usual, easy-going self.
i'm difficult, jealous, angered easily, bitter, crass, flighty.
i've just been weird and off for over a week.
and, i sincerely loathe it.

To Be Honest,
turning 20 on friday scares me to death, in all reality.
i'm not sure why.
i'm don't get why 20 is doing this to me.

i'm just.... unhappy. and really nothing can fix it.
and i feel like i haven't talked to any of my friends about anything meaningful for days. just the same old same, how have you been. are you okay. y'know, the usual.


I'm Sincerely Scared Of This Impending Birthday.
i have three more days to be a teenager. only three.