Saturday, August 6, 2011

Look Into My Eyes And I'll Own You With Them Moves Like Jagger.

i can't stop listening to beautifully sad music.
(and loud, interruptive music.)

It's Been An Odd Week.
not bad, but not exceptional.
well, it's had its moments. :)

i feel like everyone is off, including me.
i feel as if i'm only in sync with a person or two.
i feel as if i have so much to say, but have no idea how.

i'm not feeling gutsy, brave, or courageous.
(or outrageous for that matter. and if i'm not feeling my usual outrageously strange self, then there is clearly something afoot.)

I Should Probably Stop Listening To Sparks By Coldplay On Repeat.
I Should Also Stop Listening to Home By Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeroes Over And Over Again.
That Also Goes For Till The World Ends; Femme Fatale Remix And Moves Like Jagger.
i have addictions. sue me.
and an eclectic taste in music. who doesn't?

i just need to realize that things will get better, there are just off weeks.
this same exact week one year ago was definitely off.
cyler didn't talk to me for seven days, and then randomly called me to borrow the hangover and pretended like nothing even happened. do i even know now what he did that week? nope. but i'm over it. granted, i was angry and sad at the time.
a year ago today i made my first wedding cake. :)
(and only wedding cake, to date. i'd enjoy the chance to make some more.)
and i also need to focus on the fact that i passed the GED. :)
well, i won't know about the writing for another week, probably.
but i passed all the other subjects; reading, science, social studies and by some miracle, the math even.
so after i figure out my writing score, and know for sure that i passed the GED, i'm going to take the ACT soon and then figure out school.

because it was strange,
i explained this to cyler the other night;
while taking that test, and being down at UVU, it kind of made me miss school.
i haven't been in school school for over a year and a half, i just did east shore the last half of my senior year.
and many people know that since a young age, i have never desired to go to college. honestly. college has always seemed like this pointless thing, and something i definitely didn't want to do.
(i still have a lot of trepidation, but my feelings have mildly changed.)
i just miss the whole gaining an education thing; because i want to be smarter.
and i want to go far in my life, no matter what i really decide to do.
culinary or journalism or english teaching or fame and fortune -- whatever it is.

I Know Things Will Be Better, They're Already Getting There.
and people will figure out what they're doing hopefully sooner, rather than later.

i just want my friends to see the potential they have. how each of them can and hopefully will go so far.
whether it's courtney going on her mission quest to chicago, or jenn making a plan for what she wants to in the future, or cyler just figuring out what he wants to do, not what anyone else wants, not me, or his mom, or his girlfriend, or anyone except perhaps the lord.
and many other things such as that.

this is all, really.

1 comment:

  1. you're a good unicorn amelia. i don't think anyone says that enough... or ever in that context.


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