two weeks ago i could've sworn i was barely sixteen.
and yet, here i am, nineteen and a half.
i'm unsure where the time went, but i know i've made some of my favorite memories since the time i turned sixteen.
the reason i speak of time tonight, is due to the fact that cy's little brother, caleb, went to a stake dance tonight.
he's fifteen these days, which blows my mind because i remember when he was a ten year old boyscout that my parents taught.
at this stake dance, the girl he likes totally played him and held hands with the kid she really likes, ditching leb in the dirt.
poor kid; he's quite lovely, and i just feel bad for him.
i witnessed him sitting on the couch, blasting music that was probably angry, just being upset about what had happened.
it's weird thinking that some dramatic thing that happens at a stake dance can really wear someone down.
but, then again, i understand it perfectly.
because i've been there countless times.
i used to stress over stake dances.
generally wanting to dance with cyler and loathing his girl of the moment, whoever she may have been and just envying her.
in reality, those stupid, miniscule events don't matter now.
hell, they didn't matter for very long back then even.
but i had my own share of dramatic stake dances, due to friends that i had and even over cyler.
one of the dances that left a big imprint in my memory was a dance in which cy and i went to together.
it was february of my sophomore year, his freshman; right after valentine's day.
right after the justine debacle in which she "broke cyler's heart" because she liked someone else.
it was the day after i'd sat on a couch with him, and just held him because he was crying.
he told me that i was his date to the dance.
i thought it endearing, and i won't deny that i had a million butterflies due to the idea that he was my, "date".
i drove us there in my parents white minivan.
it was just him and i, walking around and talking to random people.
cyler can have a meaningful conversation with any stranger, any given day.
i thought that was incredible.
(i still do.)
some carrie underwood song came on, and i asked him to dance, and that was the first time that he and i danced together.
i kept looking around because i was astonished that all of it was really happening.
he even asked me if i was okay, and i told him i was.
it was just.... nice.
i don't know.
and then later on, justine showed up at the dance and him and her talked through their problems and i esentially got ditched.
(that was the same night i let jenn drive my car, and she made it stall. haha, so funny.)
i was ignored for the rest of the evening, by him. and trust me, i was not happy.
justine and him were ga ga over each other and i wanted to punch her in the uterus.
i confronted him towards the end of the dance, asking what'd happened and he said that things were better now. i then asked if we were leaving, and he told me he was getting a ride with teenie.
that was the straw that broke the camel's back, in this case.
as i drove the short trip home, teardrops on my guitar by taylor swift came on the radio and i sang and sang and felt so depressed. i felt it fit our situation to a tee.
i then showered, and bawled in the shower because i just felt awful. i felt almost used and just so, unhappy.
That's The End Of That Pointless Story. :)
you honestly cannot even fathom the number of dramatic stake dances i attended in my youth.
i am being entirely serious.
it's so ridiculous, and just so funny now.
so, young leb.
don't let one stake dance make you too sad.
there will be another one next month, guaranteed.
and as you get older, things will just become more egregious.
I'm So Happy I Haven't Had To Deal With That Crap For Two Years Now.
it's so nice.
and i'm happy that my life has changed so very much, and that me and cyler have been best friends for practically four years.
and i'm also glad that jenn did learn how to properly drive, and has never come too close to killing me yet. :)
anyhooters, these are my various thoughts, dear world.
pointless as they may be.
guten abend, gnadige frau.