Sunday, October 30, 2011

When I Have Grown A Foot Or Two.

sometimes, things happen without rhyme or reason.
especially when you least expect them to.

today was cyler's brother's homecoming.
cameron served a two year mission in piura, peru.
he got back last wednesday; i got to see him on thursday.
we hugged incredibly awkwardly, but that's alright.
he also pronounced my name, "amaylia", which made me smile.
he's so fluent in spanish now, it's amazing.
this is cam; handsome white man, blonde hair, blue eyes but, he has a spanish accent. it's wonderful.
the person i'm closest to in their family is cyler, of course, but i love the whole family so much. even their extended family. but cam and i were kind of friends, i guess you could say? we had EMS together when i was a sophomore, and we used to practice taking each other's blood pressure. once, when i had decided to walk home because i missed the bus, he gave me a ride. he also used to drive cy and i to special needs every thursday. (cause neither one of us had a license yet.) on his eighteenth birthday i texted him all day, talking about random things. for a youth activity once, we went to classic skating and he skated with me and held me up to keep me from falling. we have that common connection that anyone has with their best friend's siblings, i guess you could say.
i was excited for him to come home, because he's a great guy. salt of the earth.
and when he spoke today in sacrament, i cried multiple times. i just felt the spirit so strongly. i know for a fact that he was an amazing missionary and that he has such a strong testimony; i will always look up to cameron. he's truly a great man.
the spirit was just so strong in their ward today. i can't even explain it. after cam spoke, the youth sang i am a child of god mixed with i believe in christ, and it was so beautiful.
then, the water-works really started going.
i know i've mentioned before that i want to go on a mission; early in high school i told myself that i wanted to go, and i did. but then this desire shrunk, tragically. and i felt like it wasn't something i wanted to do with my life.
courtney and lexi became two of my best friends this summer, and we all knew courtney had sent in her papers and she was going to get her call. i was so excited in july when she opened it up and found out she'd be going to chicago, illinois. so, she was mildly inspirational at the time.
but whenever she did her farewell, i got reminded of my once desire to serve a mission.
i ignored it; put it in the back of my mind, until she left.
the day she left, i was unbelievably sad. i cried far more than i anticipated i would, but oh well.
and then i posted about courtney and how i'd miss her and that i want to serve a mission.
once again, and this was only three weeks ago, i pushed the idea aside. not taking it very seriously.
but today, the spirit was so strong, and it was telling me that i need to go on a mission.
it was as clear as day.
i'm never going to be the person i want to become unless i serve a mission.
i honestly doubt that fate will intervene and i'll meet my future husband within the next year or so; seriously. that's not in the cards for me right now.
but i've made the decision, clearly, and positively: I'm Going To Go On A Mission.
i turn 21 next november; i know cy will leave later this winter, and it'll be hard being without him and even more hard not being there for his homecoming, but that's just a small thing amongst everything.
i'm going to go on a mission. i just.... i have to. for me. for no one else but me.
and jenn will leave a few months after i go, so for a time, cy, jenn and i will all be on a mission at once. maybe even alex. i guess we'll see.

So, Thank You For The Inspiring People In My Life.
my parents, my siblings, cyler, jenn, alex, courtney, cam, and everyone else, really.

this is going to be a big step, and take a large leap of faith, but i need to start preparing. i really do.

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leave here your rhymes and reasons, ladies and gents.