the pangs can hit you like a ton of bricks,
far more gently,
like a soft rain.
one that will drench you if you stand in it for merely three minutes.
gentle, but heavy. all at once.
Today I've Felt Nostalgic, To Say The Least.
i had time to kill this afternoon after dropping of my niece, and waiting to meet up with decker, for lunch.
(i was one of the winners of her giveaway. we had a delightful lunch at cafe rio, and i got nifty prizes! JB polish included. (: )
I Cruised Along The Streets I Used To Roam,
in little ol' american fork.
which is now just a place full of memories.
i drove down the street i used to live on. it seems so different now, so lifeless, almost. it felt vacant, even thought there were signs of existence.
that old man still lives in his same little pristine house. i feel sad that i can no longer remember his name.... just that he despised my dog and was that old guy that everyone has in their neighborhood; the one who is bitter and crass and enjoys taking it out on everyone else. especially little kids.
i saw the house that tricia used to live in, and saw a man who i know is not her step-father step outside. she hasn't occupied that house in over five years, why did i almost expect to see her?
i saw mindy's vehicle. so i know she still lives there with brian and their kids. i wonder how many they have these days.
and one of the strangest things i noticed on this little trip;
it seemed like all of the trees had been chopped down. the large ones that sat in people's yards. it made it seem so empty.
as for my old residence, it looks like a dump. there's a sign in the yard that reads, "no overnight camping".
real classy. though, i envy the sign, slightly.
i'll never live in that house again. it was never anything special. mildly ghetto and haphazardly put together.
but i'll always have my memories.
good and bad.
also, i wonder if fred flinstone is still buried in the back yard.... i can only hope no one has dug him up. it'd be a travesty.
sometimes, i miss living in american fork. really, i do. but these moments don't occur often. i'm much happier where i'm at now. and i can't imagine a life without the people who are in it now.
I'd Be, Lost.
without even really knowing it.
so here's to the bouts of nostalgia we all experience.
whether the memory is good or bad, it's helped us grow.
"nostalgia - it's delicate, but potent. teddy told me that in greek, "nostalgia" literally means "the pain from an old wound." it's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. this device isn't a spaceship, it's a time machine. it goes backwards, and forwards... it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. it's not called the wheel, it's called the carousel. it let's us travel the way a child travels - around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved."
- Don Draper; Mad Men ("The Wheel").
on another note. today was rather swell. frozen hot chocolates. an ex girlfriend of a brother. driving khlo khlo. random encounters at target. lunch with an old friend. quality time with a best friend, nephew, sibling and friend. snow cones. the office for hours on end. friendship bracelets. cyler popping up at my back door and nearly making me pee myself.
All In All, nice day.
jenn comes home tomorrow. hooray! and harry potter's tomorrow night. :)