Day Five; Regret It, Forget It.

Day Five: Three things that you’ve done in your life that you regret doing / not doing.


1. Not Trying Hard Enough In High School And Ultimately Not Graduating.
i did not graduate. it's by far my biggest regret. it's just about the biggest regret a person could have. but i just didn't really try in high school. in ninth grade i got away with just staying home too often, and i didn't pass a lot of my classes. then from 10th grade on, skipping class seemed much more fun than exerting the effort into going. i did well in the classes i really liked, but not in the classes i hated and did poorly in. particularly math. i have never passed a whole year of math, except for in elementary school. i was in pre-algebra 7th - 9th; never passing. in 10th i was in a special math class. not exactly algebra, not exactly pre-algebra. same as with when i was in 11th. then my senior year i took algebra one and geometry, passing the first quarter of geometry only. and passing the first half of algebra until i "dropped out" and switched to east shore. which i did alright with for awhile, but then my love for not going to class set it, and i just stopped going. i do not yet have my GED, but that's what i'm working for at the time being. going to graduation this year was very bittersweet. i was so happy for my friends who i got to see graduate, and was very proud of them. but the whole time i was telling myself repeteadly, "don't cry. don't cry." i feel like such a failure for not graduating, because i know i have a lot of potential and that i'm very smart, but i just didn't apply myself adequately in high school.

2. Not Being Brave.
had i been more brave in my life, i probably would've graduated. i hate asking for help. i also hate confrontation. i avoid it like the plague. this is both good and bad. good because i very very rarely get into fights with my friends. but sometimes when there is something need saying, i'm not the one who can just come right out and say it. i like to think that i've matured and have gotten better at being braver, but i am still hesitant with things in my life. and i wish i were different. i wish i were more like brave new beesly.

3. Talk S*!t, Get Hit.
i wish i gossiped less. i used to not. i'm a people person, i love people. but i feel like i've become a less bright and shiny lady because i do gossip, and i do talk crap on certain people. i really am trying. i want to do better. but i wish i'd never picked up the habit of being rude at times behind people's backs or disliking people for no reason. i know i'll always struggle with this, and i just wish i hadn't instilled it into my daily life like i did.