Tuesday, January 10, 2012

All You Want's One More Saturday.

lately, i haven't been much for words.
or trying, really.
i've just been stuck in this loop.
this strange, lackadaiscal, unmotivated loop.
i haven't worked a lot.
and when i do work, i'm hardly a ray of sunshine if neither cyler, or jenn, or david or even mr. banker aren't there.
and when i don't work, i watch supernatural for hours on end, and usually hang out with my friends.
(seriously, the amount of supernatural that i've watched in the last two months is unhealthy. but, sue me. i'm addicted. granted, today i haven't been feeling it. i couldn't get through the second of the two episodes that record every day. i'm just slightly supernatural'd out; it happens.)
and i'd be lying if i said i was dedicating even a little time to the lord.
i haven't been.
i know it's awfully naughty of me, but i just can't motivate myself to read my scriptures anymore or say my prayers or really go to church.
i'm surprised i'm even writing about this on here, but i haven't really shared it with anyone, so why not make myself accountable by being up front right here?
there are a lot of things that i need to work on, i know.
attempt to get to church at least three times a month.
get back to reading my scriptures and praying every day.
saving money for a mission that i'll hopefully one day go on.
have school goals in mind. (i'm shooting for the summer. long enough is long enough. i've been out of school for almost two years.)
continue paying off my credit card. (heather has been helping me out with this.)
and just.... try and keep the faith.

I'm Not Happy With The Person I've Been Lately.
flighty, distant, overcompensating, distressed, unmotivated.

So, Since It's A New Year And A "Fresh Start", I Plan To Change.

for me.
for you.
for Him.
for them.

but, mostly, for me.

(i'm aware this post is lacking a true point. or any character at all. but i just thought i'd put out there what i've been meaning and needing to put out.)

also,
one of my all-time favorite bands released a new single this week,
and it is nothing short of exceptional.
check out simple song by the shins.
it doesn't disappoint. :)

[lense flare.]

1 comment:

  1. I still love you. Sometimes, we know what we are talking about though, because we may have made the same stupid mistakes. Hang in there, there is much to figure out and it happens the older you get. We are about to pay off our last credit card and close the account. That is an AMAZING feeling. Now to pay off school......

    ReplyDelete

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