this way of life can be difficult, because peer pressure is something i have always easily given into.
i have convictions. strong ones. but lately, i don't know where i stand on certain issues.
i know what i believe. i know what i have faith in. but i'm finding it hard to follow through.
that's always been my problem.
I Have The Worst Follow Through.
i'll say one thing, and try and convince myself that i'll do it or not do it, and i just end up with regrets more than half of the time.
i don't want to work on sundays, because i know i need to go to church, but i don't have the guts to tell my boss that i can't be available on sundays.
(and even when i don't work on a sunday, i only manage to make it through sacrament meeting. i go home right after it ends.)
i keep saying that i'm going to get my GED, next week, the week after, but i've been saying this for over a year. and here i sit, GED-less. and just as pathetic as ever.
i tell myself that i'm going to swear less, and get rid of my sailor's mouth, but i swear just as much as always, if not more so.
i plan to buy things that will be beneficial to me; pay to get the car fixed, so then it's my own. buy new clothes, that i desperately need. pay for my GED. et cetera. but i spend my money on movies and food and frivolous items of no real necessity.
i tell myself i won't do certain things, and yet, i wind up doing them. with no hesitation.
I Think I Need Some Direction In My Life.
a real plan that i can and will follow through on.
because, needless to say, i'm feeling more than a little lost.
on more than just these few things i've brought up.
maybe i'm just tired. tired of the mundane routines. tired of the same feelings.
i know for a fact that i'd feel better if i took action in my life, and actually took chances.
My Heart Aches. Because I Feel Like A Failure. I'm Not Much Of A Friend, Person, Church Member, Employee.
i'm not searching for an ego boost. i know what i am right now, whether people see it or not.
I'm Just Asking For, Opinions?
on how to get out of this emotional, mental, and physical rut.
but i probably just need to look inside myself to get jump started, and ask my savior for help.
(this is all o'er the place. i apologize.)