Wonderful Sings To Be Sung.

on occassion i wish that a boy, no, man, because i am over nineteen years old, were fond of me. at this point, i'm over wishing one certain boy were entirely infatuated with me; it's weird how that day has come and gone -- although i'm still very much in love with him, but that's whatever. i sit here and think of heathcliff. (yeah, it's a rather pretentious nickname, but i manage.) oh, unobtainable he. i don't even know if he really knows my name. perhaps he does. i must say this, i enjoy him sitting next to me most sundays. i have ever since june, when i first started attending the singles ward. i don't know what it is about him, but he just has struck my fancy. he's deleciously tall. dresses rather nicely. (very shiny shoes. you've got to love shoes that are probably shiny enough to see your reflection.) he has a very warm, captivating, striking smile. he speaks portugese. he attempts to sing, and actually executes that pretty well.

I Don't Know.
i just like him, even though i hardly know him.
which is weird for most people, but it's been a habit of mine for quite a lot of my life.

(the only boy i've ever been infatuated with and really knew is cy cy. i know him better than anyone, and vice versa. but this post isn't really about my dear and lovely best friend.)

I Have A Pillow,
i've had it since fifth or sixth grade. my best friends and i used to use fabric markers and write the names of the boys we liked on it. to this day, i still have it. and sort-of use it. i look at the names of the [now, practically] men on it. one of them is going to be a big-shot BYU football player next year. one just left on a mission. one is probably still a sk8r boi. as for the others, i don't really know.

But I Didn't Really Know Any Of Those Boys Very Well.
the missionary, well, we got along swimmingly due to making each other laugh, so we knew each other a bit.
and the BYU player was in my ward, and i was friends with his younger sister, so perhaps i know him a little.

b'really, that's never been my style.
that is,
until cyler jacob wandered into my life unexpectedly.

And Because Of Cy, And The Friendship We've Had For About Four Years Now,
I Want To Actually Know "Heathcliff".
i want to know what his favorite baked good is.
i want to know what songs cheer him up when he's sad.
i want to know what brand of chapstick he uses.
i want to know what he does when none of his shirts are clean.

the simple, unimportant, important, vital, and weird things i want to know about him.
Because He Is Genuinely Nice.
i know this. i'm sure of this.


so here's to hoping he'll sit next to me once again tomorrow at church.
and here's to getting up the gumption to sincerely talk to him -- somewhere beyond small talk or weird/random talk.


a calm night tonight was swell. visiting jennifer's sister in law and seeing her nephew and niece who might as well be mine too. jenn and i eating popsicles and putting on d-stress mud masques. watching threat level midnight. making a bracelet of the new nature.
It Was Nice.