Friday, May 28, 2010

We Lived. We Loved. We Hurt. We Hoped.

I've Thought About A Lot In The Last Day Or So.
But The Two Points I'd Like To Get Across Are These:

I Surpsingly Don't Miss My Friendship With Either Of You.
Maybe A Little Bit,
But Honestly?
Last Night Was Fun With You Guys,
But You're Not Really A Part Of My Life Anymore.
And I Don't Really Need Or Want You To Be A Part Of My Life Anymore.
I'm So Happy With Who I Have Now.
You Guys Are Still Fun And Whatnot,
But You're Not My Best Friends.
You're Not My Quote Unquote "Wolf Pack".
And The Entire Time I Was With You Guys I Was Wishing I Were With Cyler, Jenn And Alex.
I Missed Them,
As Stupid As That Sounds;
But I Did.
I Previously Thought I Missed You Guys,
And A Small Part Of Me Did.
But After Hanging Out,
I Realize We're Just Different People Now.
And I Really Didn't Miss You As Much As I Made Myself Believe.
I've No Issue With Any Of You.
You're Still My Friends.
But I Don't Feel The Need For Anything Like A Tight-Knit Friendship.
Or Too Much Of A Friendship At All.
That's How I Honestly Feel.

Point Number Two:
Yesterday Was Graduation.
I Didn't Graduate.
I Felt Like Crying The Entirety Of The Program,
But I Only Did For A Millisecond.
I Would've Probably Cried Had Not Cody And Yansen Been There,
Because I Cry In Front Of Cyler (But I Haven't In Front Of Alex, Hmm.)
And I'm So Happy For My Dear Friends That Graduated,
But I Was So Sad That Because I'm Such An Idiot,
I Didn't Graduate.
I Didn't Get To Share That Joy And Freedom.
And It Was Really Hard,
To Be Honest.
And Beforehand,
Cyler Asked Me What Was Wrong And I Told Him I Was Fine.
Then He Said "You're Sad Cause You're Not Graduating, Huh?"
And I Shook My Head Yes.
Then When We Were Walking To The Truck We Were Going In He Put His Arm Around Me And Told Me It Was Okay.
And I Needed That.
I Did.
And I Hugged My Friends That Graduated Super Tightly.
All I'm Hoping For Is That In Some Way, Shape, Or Form I'll Graduate.
I Owe Everyone Else (Including Myself) That.
But Congrats to Jennifer, Megan, Kiernan, Karissa, Valerie, Nancy, And Flora.
I'm So Proud Of You Guys. :)

and that's the way the cookie crumbles.

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